I was… a Resident Advisor

On April 16th, 2007, I was 21 and finishing up my junior year. I was studying in Deets that morning, although I was supposed to be attending class in Randolph Hall. I remember the manager of Deets coming out and announcing that there was a report of multiple shooters on campus and he advised us to stay in the building. At this time I recall another student sitting on the stairs – leading up to D2 from Deets – she was on the phone crying while surrounded by other students (I’m assuming friends).

A few minutes later the manager escorted all of us up into D2 and advised us to stay away from the windows. At this point it sunk in that there was a serious situation unfolding. My thoughts were racing thinking about friends and trying to contact family followed by a feeling of guilt that I should have stayed in my Residence Hall to study that morning… I started to think about where my fellow RAs were and if we had enough in the building to monitor doors and if they were even aware of what was happening.

The hours, days, and weeks that followed were a blur of following up with residents and talking and listening as they verbally processed the event.

Eventually we were released from D2 and I went directly to my Residence Hall and checked in with my supervisor and then I headed to my floor. I still had no idea, nor could fathom, what had just happened. It wasn’t until I walked in my room and turned on the TV that my heart dropped in shock and disbelief at what I was seeing and hearing. The hours, days, and weeks that followed were a blur of following up with residents and talking and listening as they verbally processed the event. A sober atmosphere in the Hall lingered for the remainder of the semester.

I wish I could have stopped it.

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